“Mum looked after me for years – now it’s my turn to care for her”: South Shields Memory Walk

A woman who has experienced the devasting impact of dementia first-hand is set to join hundreds of fundraisers going the extra mile for Alzheimer’s Society at South Shields Memory Walk. Nicola Marlborough, of East Herrington, is taking part in the event on 8 October to pay tribute to her mum Ann, 76, who was diagnosed with dementia just eight weeks ago.

Nicola’s story

Customer Care Adviser Nicola, 47, said:

“Although mum was only recently diagnosed, we’ve known about her condition for quite some time. She began showing symptoms as far back as 2016, but things took a turn for the worse around 2018. At first it was just simple things, like forgetting the PIN for her bank card, which can happen to anyone. But there was also a change to her personality – she started to become snappy and argumentative, which was really out of character for her.

“Now she often doesn’t recognise me or my dad, even though they’ve been married 56 years. As for me, she just knows I’m the blonde girl who helps her. I think both dad and I are over the emotional stage now and have accepted that this is just part of her condition.”

Mum-of-two Nicola moved back in with her parents in 2009 after splitting up with her partner and says that, although caring for a loved one with dementia can be tough at times, she wouldn’t have it any other way.

She added:

“Mum can be hard work and it’s tough on my dad sometimes, who is 80, so I want to be there to support them. She is a bit of a walking addict – she would go out for walks all the time if she had her way but that’s not practical, so we have to keep her stimulated in other ways. She has also become very anxious and often gets tearful. She doesn’t recognise her own home – the home she’s lived in for 50 years – and keep thinking her parents, my grandparents who have been dead for many years, will be coming to pick her up.

“At the end of the day, the only way to deal with that is to distract her and, of course, show her lots of love, which isn’t difficult at all because she’s my mum. In a way it’s a blessing that she doesn’t understand what’s happening to her, but it’s awful for the family.

“She looked after me for many years, so taking care of her now is the least I can do. Until the inevitable day comes – and we know it will – I want to be able to hold up my head and say I did everything I possibly could to keep her at home with me and dad.”

Nicola receives lots of love and support from all her family friends and from her partner. Her mum also attends the Sunderland-based dementia support group North East Dementia Care three times a week – support which she describes as “priceless” and which her family would be lost without.

South Shields Memory Walk

Nicola will be taking part in Memory Walk with close friend Kirsty Calvert, who also has experience of dementia in her family.

She explained:

“I didn’t know anything about the event until I saw a TV advert, so I signed up for it right away.I hadn’t thought of asking anyone else but then Kirsty saw what I was doing and asked if I wanted company, which I was delighted about. We’re both really looking forward to it.”

South Shields Memory Walk will take place at Bents Exhibition Park on Saturday 8 October, with walkers having the option of 7km or 1.5km walk along the stunning coastal route.

There is still plenty of time for people to get involved and raise vital funds to help Alzheimer’s Society support people living with dementia and their carers through some of the hardest and most frightening times.

Memory Walk will bring together people who have been personally affected by dementia, those who want to walk to remember a loved one, and people looking to raise money for charity.

Danielle Cooper, Area Manager for Alzheimer’s Society, said:

“It has never been more important to support Alzheimer’s Society’s crucial work. Too many people across the North East are facing dementia alone without adequate support. We urgently need to find a cure, improve care and offer help and understanding for people affected. We are in awe of our amazing fundraisers like Nicola who go above and beyond to raise vital funds and awareness.

“Every step our fundraisers take will to help us provide a lifeline of support for as many people affected by dementia as possible. We can’t wait to see walkers of all ages and abilities return to South Shields in October and I would call on family, friends and colleagues from across region to put their best foot forward to support this vital cause.”

Those unable to get along to the South Shields event can also opt to walk on their own, or with loved ones, on the paths, pavements, parks or pebbles in a location of their choosing throughout September.

Memory Walk events have been a regular fixture in the Autumn calendar for over 10 years, seeing half a million walkers raise over £41 million for Alzheimer’s Society.

You can  memorywalk.org.uk to find out more about organising your own Memory Walk or taking part in Alzheimer’s Society’s organised events this Autumn.

Anyone wishing to support Nicola’s fundraising effort can do so by visiting her Just Giving page at Nicola Marlborough is fundraising for Alzheimer’s Society (justgiving.com)

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